Day 24 Post surgery

Today was a pretty good day considering it's been just over 3 weeks. At one point today I got ahead of the pain. I wore my brace but honestly only so much of that I can take. Took it off and felt good. Emptied feed into barrels, big no no, but I'm tired of not being able to do anything. I almost decided to ride today, but I didn't do it. Probably a good thing. 

We went and got feed today and did a few things in town. Had delicious Chinese that Wes made for dinner. 

Now it's 9:30 and I'm feeling the pain a little bit. Took my meds and my Tylenol. I am tired. I did tell Wes I didn't want to go back to work , he didn't say anything.  Johonna is afraid I won't come back so I guess I'll go back for now. I don't know. I'm not putting in for disability because I have to show tax returns which I haven't filed in over 10 years so I don't think that is an option. Plus there is a 5 month waiting period. So it's retire early or keep working so my retirement goes up. We'll I have until the 14th of October anyway which is my doctor's appointment to see if he will release me. Can't go back until he says so. 

My legs hurt so that's nerve pain tonight. 

Anyway that is today's update. 

Can't Wait

I can't wait to ride my mares and my gelding. 

Healing....sort of

Well I've had like 3 good days with my back. Incisions are healed. The insides are the issue, still hurts. Stayed in bed all day yesterday because I could,  woke up ready to face the day, picked up in the house just a little, without my brace, mistake.  

I went out in front yard with the puppies and watched them run around having fun. A guy on a bicycle rode by, I guess he's part of the gravel grinders race which I suppose is coming up. The chihuahuas barked, he just grinned. Lol. Gully was on the porch barking.  

My back is killing me now. Took my meds which I'm trying not to do plus 1000 mg Tylenol per my nurse. It's the nerve pain. My spine is actually ok since he fused it. 

I'm 2 weeks and 2 days out of surgery so I guess I'm doing pretty good. I'm just not one to be patient.  

I don't want to ride yet, it doesn't feel well enough to do that. I guess I really do want to but will follow my gut which says DO NOT DO THAT. 

I hate these bad days. 

I feel like I should be further along in healing but I'm on track. I'm use to being younger and healing faster. I hate that Wes has to do everything for me. I'm use to doing things on my own. 

I do not want to go back to work. 

I already got on medicaid now got to get on disability.  I've been fighting all I have to fight for to long. I just want to be home with Wes and and animals and the house, fix up the house, a place for the dogs and just be normal. I have certain horses I want to keep and others I would sell,  maybe. I mean whatever I have to do. 

I'm ready for Wes and I to just be home, together and do things together now that I will be healed up. Here is my little buddy Gizmo staying by my side yesterday. 

Surgery

September 5 had major back surgery.  I've been home 3 days from the hospital.  Today I've been up all morning  but starting to want to take my brace off and laying down for a nap. Can only be up for short time. I guess it's just healing.  

Pick up where I left off:

I still get very tired. It been a little over 2 weeks. Still have pain but it's surgical pain. The other pain was fixed when they fused my spine. That I am grateful for bit let me express to you if I can the searing pain that hits you like a train when you have a muscle spasm. Dear Lord it puts me on the ground almost. I know there will be no riding for a good while which kills my soul. I can't move fast so no working with the babies for a while. I really want to work with Luke, Magic and just ride Wrangler around the arena. Feeding is extremely hard for me. 

I really need to find someone to float Pera's and Rocky's teeth. I can keep weight on them. I so badly want to get Luke gelded but off work means no paycheck. I'm off at least 6 or 7 weeks. Honestly I'm going to try and get on disability. I'm just done with working. I'd rather work around here. I'm honestly thinking I may have to go to PT to get my strength back. I know I'm cranky and being a big baby but I'm trying not to be. I don't feel well, I hurt almost everywhere  and in places I never thought I would. Feels like they dug around in all my guts along with my back. If I could afford a massage therapist I'd go have one. I think it would help. 

I just want to feel normal again. It's been so long since I've felt "normal" I'm not sure what normal is. I wish xanax had a pain killer in it. Valium they gave me is a muscle relaxer, who knew? It's in the same class as xanax. 

Today is the 22nd of September and we put round bale out for the small pasture horses and the 4 together will get one put out Wednesday or Thursday before Wes goes for paintball because I can't pitch fork hay. 

I want to bring in Royal and Ice. The rest of the ones out in the big pasture I could and would sell. 

This may be the pain talking. 

While Wes is gone, I will stay in bed except to feed the entire weekend.  It's hard to move correctly without thinking about it.

Magic has grown and is so beautiful.  Riot has decided he belongs to Wes, Wrangler, Luke, Dakota, and Frankie are mine. I think Magic belongs to whomever. She is a wonderful filly. She and Luke are 2 yrs old so they will be a year behind on getting started riding because of my surgery. 

Oh cleaned out some of my friends list, people I know that were on there to spy. Had enough.