Ugh!

Ugh this whole selling horses has been extremely hard. It's not gotten any easier. Especially when I know one is great turns out to be an ass and tries to kill me.  I'm tired.  I'm thankful that I have friends that have asked me how I'm doing through all this. The ones I thought I'd hear from I dont. It's ok. I'll survive. 
Yah I do realize the phones go in both directions but I guess it hasn't occurred to anyone that I'm working a lot trying to get ahead, I'm selling a bunch of my horses and that HURTS.  I don't feel like calling and hearing more of how you disapprove of my decisions, or my horses or the way I lead my life or anything else. I don't call cause I have nothing to say. People should know me well enough by now to know this is a rough time, that I just don't want to talk. As far as you thinking you're the only one making an effort you're full of shit.
I have put everything I've had in my horses. Some put their everything and spend stupid amounts of money on shoes, cars, clothes, whatever your thing might be. My THING is my horses and frankly sick of hearing about it. I don't give a fuck who thinks what anymore.
Again I'm tired.
Soon I am going to go have radiation done. I'm just hoping it doesn't make me sick.  I'll basically be living in the spare room. I have to wash my clothes separately,  do my own dishes, no kissing hugging, snuggling with my dogs or Wes. How long is dependent on the dose of radiation I get. Oh you wonder how I'm feeling about this???? Oh wait no you don't cause you've never asked. Again......that's ok.....I'll be fine.
Hell will freeze over before I pick up the phone and call. I'm pretty sure this has run its course. Oh well.
It's late,  I've got to get up tomorrow as much as I don't want to, as bad as my body is as been messed up by this disease. But I'll get up and I'll keep fighting until I win. My dr says it will all change. I'm losing hair, gaining weight, hurt all the time can't remember 5 minutes ago. I'm just so over all this and don't need it. I'm tired of people making me feel bad about myself and on top of it all I'm fighting to keep going. I thank GOD every day for Wes and a couple others. I love you Wes. Sooooo much. I look forward to going to ride together this summer.
Done venting...................