Life Interupted

Life interrupted is an understatement. 
I'm fortunate that my baby girl is still alive. She has been released now from both hospitals and will be continuing with counseling and seeing doctors. It will be 90 days before it's all out of her system and the doctor said she should be back to 90 percent.  But in all honesty it's a wait and see. Her short term memory is affected.  Do I still silently ask why? Sure I do. I'm her mom. Do I fear she'll try again, absolutely.  It's hard. I don't know how to deal with this to be honest.
I do appreciate the ones who've reached out to me. It means a lot. It's getting easier but still gonna take a while. You can't imagine seeing your child in ICU with a machine breathing for her, them testing her to see if she can do it on her own, waiting 3 days each day praying she can come off it, knowing each day she doesn't is a little closer to possibly never coming off.  Try talking to her and seeing a tear run down her face because she knows you're there but can't do anything and later doesn't remember you being there each and every day. She has to have help buttoning and zipping her pants,  she can't drive right now. I'm beyond grateful she's still alive. I have to find a place to put all these horrible memories, lock them away. It's so hard to understand unless you've been through it.
I'm exhausted. Yes it's for sure life interrupted.